Influence
by xrightwhereitbelongs
Summary: A strange girl comes into John Constantine's life but who is she and what is her secret? I'm so bad at writing summary's! Just read it!
1. Chapter 1

**Influence**

Prologue

**Rating:** PG 13  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone ot thing. Unfortunately Shia isn't mine and neither is Chas so please excuse me while I throw myself off a bridge.  
**AN:** After I finished Pathway to Hell I felt the sudden urge to write more so I came up with this. You will probably see some similarities between the two but they are in no way related. If you want a spin off from Pathway to Hell them TELL ME! And i'd be happy to do it coz lets face it Gaia rocks! R&R

Slapping on feet hitting hard onto the dark concrete beneath my feet.  
My breathing was heavy as I ran struggling to retain the precious oxygen.  
I turned my head checking behind me but continued to run.  
My long red hair falling in front of my eyes but still I continued regardless.  
I wasn't exactly in the best outfit for running but I couldn't help that, not right now anyway. I just had to concentrate on getting out of this mess ALIVE.  
I wore a pair of thigh high black boots, a faded denim mini and a black tank top. Again not the best outfit to be running for your life in but it would just have to do.  
I reached a small area, enclosed.  
Shit. I was trapped, a brick wall on one side and... Something horrible on the other.  
I attempted to steady my breathing, regain some sort of composure before I face this nightmare My chest rose and fell as my breathing became sharper I seriously was screwed.  
I felt like I was on deathrow, sitting in my prison cell awaiting my cruel fate. Tall dirty looking buildings towered high above my head taunting me.  
Shit. How had I let myself get into this god damn situation?  
I heard the familiar screech of the demonic creature and it rounded the corner eyes glinting evilly in the dim light.  
It came at we with break neck speed... I heard a gun blast then another ear splitting cry.  
"This is Constantine, John Constantine asshole"  
A man in his late mid thirties stood at the entrance of the alley a sneer on his face.  
He wore a black suit, tie and an expensive looking white shirt. He had messy black hair, brown eyes and wore a very tired expression.  
He eyed me suspiciously.  
"Who are you?" He asked taking out a pack of cigarettes, pulling one casually out and placing it between his lips. He then took out a gold lighter, flicked it open and brought the flame up to meet the end of the tobacco stick.  
"No one." I muttered looking around for a way out before I had to answer any more questions.  
Of course I knew who he was I had to, everyone involved in the occult, demonology and the like knew who John Constantine was. He was a legend. "You don't look like no one." He said taking a drag of the fag blowing the smoke into the air.  
I turned again. I really was stuck unless I pushed him out of the way.  
Looked like I didn't have to. Constantine entered further into the small enclosure taking a closer look at me.  
"You're not a demon, not an angel... So what are you then?" He asked raising an eyebrow.  
I smiled sweetly giving him my best 'wouldn't you like to know' look before running straight passed him.  
"Nice to meet you!" He called after me taking one last drag then dropping the spent cigarette on the ground.  
That was close. I couldn't let that happen again. I couldn't let them find out... No one could know everything was at stake here... everything.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

**AN:** Thanks for your reviews! They are beast and I want more!  
**Midnight Moonstar** - thank you I do my best to try make my storys readable!  
**Salienne de Lioncourt** - I'm sorry about all the mistakes I am so bad for that thank you for pointing it out I always need a little friendly advice!  
**frantastic** - sorry there isn't gonna be any Gaia in this story but I think maybe you will see a few resemblance's between the two characters. I'll maybe try and write a spin off from PWTH including Gaia and maybe Murphy coz lets face it they were both beast!  
**Cptn-jacks-bonnie-lass** - yes the shirt bit was good I couldn't resist myself! And here I am updating so this will make you happy!  
I hope you all continue to read this fic and give me handy hints along the way too.  
You'll see a comment in here that was made my Gabriel in the film, soz ppl I HAD to put it in!  
Well hope you enjoy! Plz R&R!

"Why'd you do that John"  
"Shut up kid"  
"John, why d'you always put me down John huh"  
John rolled his eyes. Chas was so sensitive about the slightest thing, if it wasn't so annoying it would be kinda sweet.  
"Just drive Chas"  
It was Chas' turn to roll his eyes. He felt so neglected like John didn't give a shit about him or his feelings but nonetheless he drove as he always did, doing exactly what he was told.  
"Where we goin anyway?" He asked focusing his attention on the road ahead.  
"Midnite's"  
"Midnite's? You mean _the_ Papa Midnite's? You gotta be shittin me that place is a legend! It's a haven for those who…"  
"Yeah I know what it is Chas. Just drive okay"  
"This about that girl again"  
"Yeah"  
"Was she really that hot? Maybe you should introduce me…"  
"Never gonna happen kid"  
"John I'm not a kid"  
"Yeah whatever." John mumbled pulling out a cigarette, lit it and took a deep puff.  
"Take a left"  
"Yeah John I'm not retarded I know what to take." Chas sake irritably turning the car.  
The rest of the journey was travelled in silence. Chas quietly focusing on the road, John happily puffing on his cigarette.  
John really was at a stump as to who the girl in the alley was. She seemed to know him… To be important somehow but he wasn't sure in what way exactly.  
She wasn't a half breed that's for sure, maybe a physic? She was something anyway.  
Chas brought the cab to a stop clumsily getting out to follow John.  
"Get back in the car Chas"  
"C'mon John please just let me come"  
"Whatever." John said refusing to get into a fight with the teen it just wasn't worth it.

"Two frogs on a bench." John stated walking passed the bouncer who pulled back the velvet rope for him to enter the bar.  
John paused when he heard Chas take a shot at trying to get in.  
"Two dolphins with wings"  
To everyone's surprise the bouncer pulled back the rope a second time letting the boy enter Midnite's for the very fist time.  
"JOHN JOHN LOOK JOHN! John I got in!" Chas squealed in utter delight.  
"Yeah I see kid." John said rolling his eyes.  
He had a slight grin forming on his face despite this. John WAS happy for the kid after all he was coming along nicely maybe one day he could participate in an exorcism.  
"Where to now John?" Chas asked excitedly.  
He really was like a little puppy, hyper all the time following its owner around regardless! It was actually quite sweet though John would never admit this.  
That's when he saw her sitting at the bar along with a few half breeds.  
She was stunning… Her long red hair fell gracefully in font of her face in bouncy curls. She wore a black corset with a gypsy style long black skirt and red boots.  
She looked pretty young though maybe the same age as Chas.

Today wasn't a good day for me. My head was spinning. I'd had way too much to drink last night after I got home. It was a close call Constantine could have found me out there, then we all would have been screwed.  
I lifted the viscous black liquid to my mouth knocking it back in one smooth motion, replacing the shot glass on the bar.  
"Gimmie another!" I shouted over the roar of music and chatter of voices.  
Even though I had the hangover from hell I still continued to drink the strong alcoholic beverage which burned my mouth.  
I looked up as I sensed two sets of eyes on my back. Constantine and his apprentice… Chas his name was.  
"You found me then." I stated softly taking the new glass the bartender handed me.  
"Yeah. Didn't expect it to be this easy"  
I smiled I had my plan… "Well, what can I say I'm extremely easy." I said softly barley audible.  
John raised his eyebrow.  
"No, that wasn't an invitation." I said a smile playing on my lips as I downed the contents of my glass.  
"So…" I said turning round fully facing the two men.  
"What can I do for you boys"  
"Who are you"  
I smiled again. Straight to the point. I could tell this wasn't gonna be an easy task.  
"The names Faith. Just Faith." I said rising to shake his hand.  
He took it.  
"I'm John, this is…"  
"Chas." I finished for him.  
"C'mon John you're famous! So is Chasy here"  
Chas just stood timidly in the background trying not to be noticed.  
I grinned turning back to the bar.  
"Hey Joe put it on my tab"  
"Already have." He replied giving me a wave.  
"So…" I said again turning back to Constantine.  
He wasn't bad looking for his age a little worn out looking but hey who gives a fuck.  
"What are you?" He asked this time.  
"I'm a human. You should know that John. I have the gift of sight, great gift if you ask me. Give a five year old the ability to see demons and see what happens that's God's motto pretty crap motto if you ask me but hey…" I explained.  
"What age are you kid?" He asked.  
"Don't call me a kid. You remember what it was like don't you, John… Didn't start till you were a little older though did it? You lose your childhood, grow up quicker. My parents thought I was crazy threw me out onto the street. When you're 13, a girl and you're living on the streets of LA it doesn't exactly turn you into a pure innocent vision of everything good and holy. I'm no kid John I'm 18 and I've been through more than most people your age let alone mine"  
John nodded. Of course he understood he had pretty much been through the same thing as me only he'd done the stupid thing, he'd killed himself.  
"You done questioning me now?" I asked walking further into the club.  
"No. What were you doing last night? Why was that demon chasing you"  
"They don't like me John. I sell them out to exorcists such as yourself. They break the rules and I tell on them. By the way I never said thank you"  
"No problem. Why aren't you an exorcist?" He asked following me through the crowed.  
"Too messy. I'm not one for demon guts and all that shit"  
I had reached my destination. "Hey." I said giving the half breed a small peck on the cheek.  
"Balthazar." John practically spat at the half demon who now had me in his arms.  
"Johnny-boy. So nice to see you again"  
John eyed me suspiciously.  
"I though you were good"  
"I am John. Don't like the company I keep"  
"You could say that." John said with a bad taste in his mouth.  
Balthazar licked the side of my face causing a wave of revolting disgust to sweep over me. I gritted my teeth attempting not to throw up all over John's shoes.  
"How else d'you expect me to survive in a place like this? 13, no money, no place to stay, nothing and no one in the world John, how'd you expect me to survive?" I said coldly a grin sliding onto my face.  
Yeah I was the best person for this task. Use my own misfortunate life to influence John. Not that he would ever know but still.  
"So you sell yourself to this half breed piece of shit?" John asked his voice rising in anger.  
"He pays good money… If I close my eyes tight enough it's not so bad." I said calmly.  
I had grown used to my situation. It was actually pretty damn funny really!  
"You're disgusting." He spat either at me or Balthazar I wasn't quite sure who.  
"Don't you dare judge me!" I screamed pulling out of Balthazar's grasp.  
"I do what I need to do John. Everything you've ever done you've only ever done for yourself! It's the same for me. I do what I have to do John survival is my main priority not your approval"  
"Fine, you know what I actually need to leave." John said turning to go.  
I stopped him by grabbing his arm roughly moving in closely to his ear.  
"Help me" I whispered putting my hand up to his face, making sure he had a clear view of the many scars covering my arms.  
His eyes widened but before he could react properly I turned back letting Balthazar pull me into his arms kissing me violently his tongue snaking into my mouth violating every inch. It turned my stomach but again I had grown accustomed to the taste of sulphur and sin inside my own sinful mouth. The things I had done… Why God needed my help I would never know but this mission was important I knew that.  
John turned away disgusted at what I was doing with his worst enemy. He made his way through the crowded room Chas following shortly after him.  
Balthazar's hand slid down my back finally stopping at my backside which he squeezed firmly.  
I pulled away quickly.  
"Get off of me!" I screamed running through the many people. I needed some fresh air before I threw up.  
I could hear Balthazar's insane laughter behind me.  
"You'll be back Faith you always are"  
He was right. I would be back. I needed the money and he had it. God wanted me to influence Constantine anyway I could make him think I needed his help but the truth was I DID need his help. I wanted to be saved but that wasn't going to happen I was too far gone to be helped, too messed up to become normal again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

I threw my keys carelessly into the glass bowl positioned next to my door.  
This place was basically a hole in the wall, incredibly depressing but it was all I could afford.  
I collapsed Onto my sofa, surveying my surroundings with distaste. The walls were grey, the plaster crumbling, slowly falling from the ancient walls. The carpet was worn and there was a nasty leak in the ceiling.  
I needed a shower so badly, to think I had let Balthazar touch me yet again… It turned my stomach but still I really need the money. I shivered a jolt of disgust going through my body… The things he made me do.

_"Bend over"  
I raised an eyebrow.  
"What?" I said even though I had heard him perfectly well.  
"Bend over." Balthazar repeated the sneer on his face increasing in size.  
I took a deep breath, the things I did for money. I bent over slowly complying with his request.  
Balthazar unbuckled his trousers, dropping them whilst de-clothing his top half.  
"You might want to hold on to something." He sneered taking hold of my hips.  
I grabbed onto the bed bracing myself from the pain I knew was coming.  
Balthazar had an unhealthy obsession with assholes… Maybe that's because he is an asshole!  
He forcibly pushed my legs apart then trusted painfully inside me.  
I closed my eyes tightening my grip on the bed frame.  
He pulled out a little pushing back in this time with more force than before, building up momentum as he went.  
I gritted my teeth trying to ignore the fact that I had a demon half breed up my ass!  
He finally climaxed,eventually pulling out.  
I stood panting for a few seconds before my knees buckled and I collapsed.  
Balthazar just laughed pulling on his cloths quickly then walking into the next room.  
I sighed heavily finding my cloths before going to collect my money._

I closed my eyes trying to block out the street noises from bellow. I needed to get John into heaven… Using myself as bait to influence the dying exorcist.  
I heard the familiar banging at the front door.  
God did this guy never give up!  
"Get your ass out here Faith! I know you're in there, I seen you go in! You're two weeks behind on the rent! I ain't givin in bitch!" My landlord screamed.  
He was an ugly creature if ever I did see one. He was short and fat, constantly smelling of chip fat and greasy left overs.  
I sighed peeling myself from the couch to take a shower.

John was in his kitchen slowly inhaling the cigarette placed carefully between his lips. She was a whore. Selling herself to half breed pieces of shit like Balthazar.  
She didn't deserve his help but when she had asked he truly believe she needed it.  
Those scars on her wrist were probably caused by Balthazar but could be self inflicted… Poor kid.  
John took another drag draining his glass of whiskey.  
"Chas" John shouted.  
"What?" "I'm going out." John returned grabbing his jacked and departing from the apartment.  
"Where?" Chas asked popping his head out of the bathroom.  
"John? John?" Chas asked finding the apartment already emptied.

John had found the girls address from a demon in Midnite's. Half that god damn place knew where the kid lived. It was dangerous considering she ratted them out. She better watch… One day she'll go to a demon who had more than sex on his mind.  
This was a rough area. Worse than John's. Drug dealers stood on the corners of streets along with prostitutes, rapist and murderers roaming freely amongst them As soon as he walked through the door the smell hit him. Urine, booze and god knows what else. Used condoms, needles and empty beer bottles littered the ground all the way up to the fifth floor where Faith lived.  
He knocked softly waiting for a reply.  
"I've not got the rent Mr Chang I told you! I'll have it by tomorrow!" A voice shouted from within.  
"It's Constantine." A few seconds then he heard the dead bolt being mover along with several other chains.  
"You found me again, you're pretty good at this John." She said moving aside to let him enter.  
The place was a dump, I real shit hole. It wasn't as bad as outside but a dump all the same.

Constantine's eye's wondered around my tiny living room. I could tell he didn't like the pace but hey neither did I. The place was shit, it was all I could afford after paying all the money I had to keep a particularly nasty demon off my case.  
"Sorry John it's no palace but it's a roof over my head." I shrugged giving him my pathetic excuse.  
"What happens to the money Balthazar gives you"  
"He don't give me nothin! I earn it John, anyway it's none of your business"  
"I thought you needed my help!" John said angrily.  
I sighed pulling my hair into a messy pony.  
"Yeah. I know. John I hate Balthazar, I really do but there's no other way. I quit Balthazar WILL kill me no doubt about it"  
"Not if I can help it." John cut in.  
"Violation of the balance, he can't touch you while I'm around"  
"No, he can touch me. Ever heard of 'friends'? He'll have someone kill me. Look there's nothing you can do! I don't know why I bothered asking for your help…" I said getting up.  
"So why did you? Is he hurting you? Is that where the scars come from, or are you cutting yourself?" John asked.  
I smiled it was working.  
I turned to face him.  
"John you know what it's like! I just need a release, a few moments of pain free bliss"  
"That's what you think it is but in reality it's just an excuse to go further, then one day…" John stopped remembering his own childhood experience.  
"Why Balthazar?" John asked changing the subject.  
"Balthazar picked me off the street, set me up with a place to stay. At first I was grateful I didn't pay, he gave me shelter, food. Then one day he asked for sex. I couldn't refuse… He's helped me out so much. If it wasn't for him I'd be dead." I returned ready to explain further.  
"I'd been with him for a couple of months, I turned 14 and everything was fine. I had a place to stay, a friend even! Then he touched me, kissed me. I knew what he was doing and I don't know why I didn't leave there and then. The thought of going back onto the streets, the fear of rejection." I held my tears at bay. I refused to make this a big deal.  
It's business Faith just fucking ignore your god damn feelings!  
"That asshole. He took a 13 year old kid and turned her into his sex slave!" John spat.  
"John I gotta go." I said spotting the time.  
I had an appointment with Gabriel. She was giving the orders on this one.  
"Not back to him" John said. It was a statement not a question.  
God this guy was hot. I wouldn't mind fucking him…  
"No. Don't worry bout me. I'm fine. We'll at least for the moment, if I need your help I know where to find you"  
"Fine." John said rising to his feet.  
"I'll see myself out." He stated.  
He walked calmly through the door mumbling quietly to himself.  
"Try and do a good deed and what do you get"  
Great. John was hooked, all I had to do was stick with it for a while and everything would be sorted. Gabriel should be pleased.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**AN:** Thanks to all the reviewers you're all awesome!  
**lil Jake** - thank you! Yeah I know my grammar and punctuation can be REALLY REALLY bad so I apologise for that. Also yeah I think you're right about the beta-reader I might just give that ago! So anyone reading this if you're interested give me a shout!  
**Midnight Moonstar** - I'm glad you like it and thank you for sticking with me!  
**cptn-jacks-bonnie-lass** - Thanks m8 yep me love making john and Chas have their little arguments! 

The rain lashed down pelting the LA streets with the icy water. It was beginning to grow dark, angry storm clouds covering the previously blue sky. The sun no longer shone. I quickened my pace to a brisk walk wrapping my arms tightly around myself. My red hair was covered by the hood on my sweatshirt, my face barely visible.  
I REALLY didn't want to bee seen, not by anyone. It didn't look good when I was seen with angel half-breeds let alone Gabriel, archangel and the ultimate of all good! I looked around seeing nothing suspicious. I entered the library making my way to where the angel stood. It was dull here. The little sunlight left outside barely penetrated the large room. Expensive looking bookcases filled the empty space however there was a small seating area up ahead, that's where he was.  
"Gabriel" I uttered softly. Gabriel turned fanning her wings out behind her. A small smile placed on her lips. "Good afternoon Faith. Did you do as I asked?" I nodded. She had told me to make contact after John had first saw me, which I had done. "And…?" She asked patiently. "He knows about my past, Balthazar. I think he wants to help me." "Good. Very good. So everything is going to plan." The half-breed smiled the golden glint in her eyes becoming all the more obvious.  
"Now what?" I asked unsure where to go from here. "Let him help you." She stated simply. "Help me how? I'm not in any danger! Balthazar wouldn't hurt me, I'm just a meaningless fuck every once in a while he can replace me"  
Gabriel didn't respond. Instead she turned and began to walk away. "Come back when you have something to report." She said pausing for only a moment. "Whatever." I couldn't be bothered arguing about the matter. John could help me if he wanted to. I wasn't exactly sure HOW he could help but who gives a shit right?  
I left dreading what Balthazar had in store for me tonight. "Baa!" Chas said whilst beeping the cab's horn. "Baa?" John asked raising his eyebrow. Chas grinned. The big goofy grin he always wore when he was please with himself. "Baa." Chas repeated moving several inches forward in the huge traffic jam. "Okay kid, I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but you are NOT a sheep." Chas grinned yet again. "Why you in such a good mood?" John asked suspiciously. "What?" Chas asked smile till plastered on his immaculate face. "Come on kid spit it out!" John pressed. "What?" Chas asked again this time attempting to choke back his laughter. "Never mind then." John replied taking a large drag of his fag. "Where we goin John?" "Home." "What? I thought we were goin' to Midnite's check out that girl again…" "Chas is that all you think about? Anyway I saw her earlier." "Ah so that's where you were…" "Yep." The traffic cleared a little allowing the teenager to reach a suitable speed. The radio was on some old Jazz crap John listened to. "So you gonna help her?" "Who?" John asked half-heartedly whilst taking another drag of his diminishing cigarette. "Faith! The girl from the bar." "Oh right." John replied dropping his spent fag out the window. "Yeah am gonna help her, why wouldn't I?" "How?" Chas asked eagerly braking at a set of lights. Horns tooted behind him as angry drivers were forced to stop. "The lights red asshole!" Chas shouted out the window flashing his middle finger briefly. "By paying a little visit to my dear old friend Balthazar." John replied. "But not tonight, I can't see them together…" John stopped staring out the window. Why would anyone stick around that guy? John personally despised the half-breed. He was so cocky it was unreal! They neared the Bowl Bowl Bowl where John's apartment was situated above. Chas pulled up to the curb bringing the cab to a slow halt.  
He grabbed John's bag following obediently behind the exorcist.  
"Thanks kid." John stated taking the bag and walking into the unlocked apartment.  
"Oh thanks for the invite John, you're too good to me." He said huffily turning to leave.  
"Come in kid." John said before disappearing inside.  
Chas didn't need to be told twice, it was either go inside with John or go home to his drunken lout of a father.  
The walls looked greenish in the poor light. I didn't even want to know what was beneath my feet… Dark shadows were cast around the room causing me to just at even the slightest unexpected movement.  
Keep your cool Faith.  
He was supposed to meet me here half an hour ago.  
Kelm. He violated the balance when he pushed a little girl off a bridge. He almost had her… She wanted death to reach up and take her in its steely grasp, bring her the comfort she had not yet found in life… But she questioned it. Did she really want to die?  
Kelm grew impatient and the little girl died by his hand. She was only 11… Julia, a vision of innocence but she was gone now.  
I lured him here the promise of providing him with 'the night of his life.' Of course my only intention was to deport his sorry ass straight back to hell.  
I couldn't do it. The demons wouldn't trust me if I did but Rachel could.  
Rachel was a demon hunter, an exorcist like John. She wasn't well known but she had helped me out in the past I owed her a great deal.  
I knew she was waiting outside probably as bored as I was, waiting for my call.  
Where the hell was he? It wasn't like Kelm to be late… I had an appointment with Balthazar later and if I missed it I had no rent.  
What if he had saw Rachel? What if someone tipped him off? What if… "Faith." Kelm said walking suavely into the room.  
"You're late." I said dryly brushing back my hair.  
"I saw your friend"  
Shit. Rachel. "What did you do"  
"Poor exorcist didn't see me coming… She was so sweet!" Kelm laughed.  
No. He couldn't have killed Rachel she was a demon hunter for Christ sake! She dealt with half-breeds on a daily basis… Kelm puled out a chain. It was dark but I would recognise that pendant anywhere. It was a semicircle with a line vertically through the middle, almost like a cross. White gold encrusted in diamond's, one of a kind. It was her mothers… A precious family heirloom.  
"You bastard!" I screamed lunging at the demon.  
I had nothing on him, he was stronger and faster than I was and pretty soon he had me by the throat.  
"Trying to deport me Faith? That was low"  
I choked back a sob as he ran his tongue down my cheek.  
"Get off!" I croaked trying to beak free. It wasn't working, I really was stuck.  
Oh God, Rachel. This was all my fault.  
"Now bitch what do you think it's like in hell?" He asked cruelly.  
I felt like saying: Dunno never been. It was true though I would probably go to hell. I was a prostitute, sold myself to shit like Balthazar. Sure I was trying to help John but I wanted redemption. I was doing the exact same as John, trying to buy my way into heaven.  
"Is this all you got Faith?" Kelm asked pushing me up against the nearest wall.  
I could smell his putrid breath, his face mere centimetres from mine… "Get off!" I said trying to sound strong, composed instead it came out as a squeak.  
Chas heard the crash the second he stepped through the door.  
John had a woman… No, maybe a man… WHAT? Well anyway John had the 'person' by the throat straddling him or her on his kitchen table.  
"What are you doing here Gabriel?" John spat.  
Gabriel? He was an archangel… But Gabriel was a guy! This person looked more feminine than male!  
"John," The angel choked.  
"This is no way to greet a servant of God!" She struggled.  
"GOD!" John spat.  
He said the words as though it were venom.  
"I don't give a fuck about GOD!" John went on.  
"Why should I? He doesn't give a fuck about me"  
"I didn't come here to fight." Gabriel said calmly despite her lack of oxygen.  
Did angels even NEED to breathe?  
"Faith." The angel stated simply.  
John loosened his grip, finally letting go and climbing off the table.  
"What about her"  
"She's in trouble. Tried to set a demon up, lured him away from the crowd. She failed. An exorcist was killed and Faith will shortly follow." Gabriel explained examining her perfect manicured fingernails.  
"Why are you telling me"  
Gabriel sighed.  
"She's in an old warehouse"  
"Which one?" John asked.  
Gabriel smiled.  
"So you do want to help after all"  
"Which one?" John repeated irritably.  
"The old Jenning's one off Henley"  
John nodded grabbed his bad and motioned Chas to follow.  
"A thank you would be nice John!" Gabriel called after him.  
A huge grin spread across her face.  
Kelm had done as he was told, played along with her plan.  
Of course he hadn't killed the exorcist she was too good to be outwitted by a half-breed such as himself… No, Gabriel herself had murdered the woman.  
The plan was working. John was taking the bait now she needed to make sure they got closer…


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**AN:** Still looking for that beta! If you're interested give me a shout!  
**Midnight Moonstar** - Thanks for your review how did u manage that after like 5 mins of me updating! Lol. Thank you! Hope you're enjoying!

My mouth opened in a silent scream, a drizzle of blood escaped my parted lips. My eyes grew wide as I stared straight into his eyes.  
He thrust the knife further into my gut smiling all the way through. What the fuck was going on? This guy was a half-breed, he didn't need knifes! The pain was incredible. Warm blood seeped from the fresh wound covering my shirt in the crimson liquid. I felt the salty tears drop as I gasped for breath. My entire body convulsed as waves of excruciating pain swept over me. It was like nothing I had ever felt before, I felt weak, numb and cold.  
"Why?" I gasped spluttering a little on my blood.  
Kelm laughed madly taking my face in his hands. I couldn't protest as he placed his mouth over mine forcing my lips apart with his tongue. I felt so weak. A sob escaped my blood stained lips, a little more blood escaped from my parted lips. I couldn't even scream. My pale face was contorted in an inaudible scream which I couldn't even voice because of the mind numbing pain surging through me. I was loosing a lot of blood… I was going to die. Everything began to grow hazy. Kelm's face which was now so very close to mine blurred out of focus as precious life began to leave me.  
I was 18… The world began to darken as I fell into the clutches of death.

"This is Constantine, John Constantine asshole"  
"Ah Mr Constantine." Kelm whispered.  
He dropped Faith carelessly to the floor, licking his bloody fingers. Faith's blood.  
"Why? Why would you do this?" Chas asked from behind him.  
The half-breed chuckled steeping over Faith's blood soaked body.  
"Couldn't let her deport me now could I." He said grinning smugly.  
"You half-breed piece of shit!" Chas replied angrily steeping forward.  
"Chas." John warned pushing the boy behind him.  
"You tipped the scales half-breed. Now…" He started pulling out his holy shot gun.  
"Go to hell." He stated coldly firing the bullet straight into the half-breed's skull.  
It shattered into a million fragments, creating a pile of dust and rags on the floor.  
"Faith?" John asked nervously.  
"Urg…" The girl moaned from her position on the floor.  
"Faith." John repeated making his way over to her crumpled form.  
"It hurts…" She choked a little more blood escaping her crimson mouth.  
"Shh, hold on." John replied.  
Her wound was deep, there was so much blood… He placed his hands over the large hole attempting to stop the blood.  
"John…" She said moaning at the sudded pressure.  
She was so cold… His warm fingers brushed against her icy cold face.  
"Faith listen to me. I need to get you to a hospital okay… Chas!" John said turning round to face his young apprentice.  
"Call an ambulance tell them she's lost a lot of blood"  
Chas nodded a look of total and utter determination taking over the boys carefree features.  
Faith began to tremble violently.  
"I'm so cold…" She sobbed shutting her eyes tightly.  
"C'mon kiddo don't die on me now! I'm gonna get you out of this mess." John promised.  
He could feel her blood spilling through his fingers… She was slipping away.  
"Why…" She tried choking a little before tying again.  
"Why are you doing this?" She spluttered.  
Why was he doing this? Why was he taking a particular interest in this girl? Why was she so special… This happened all the time in LA why take an interest now?  
"Because…" He said slowly.  
"You're 18 years old for Christ sake. I won't let you throw your life away, I won't let you die." He said.  
She began to cough and splutter tiny blots of blood and spittle escaping her mouth. She was shaking so much… This was the end he knew it.  
"Faith… Don't let go"

_"…Don't let go"_  
Those simple three words echoed in my mind over and over as John Constantine disappeared before my eyes.  
I couldn't even feel the pain any more. I was numb, my entire body icy cold. I felt nothing.

_"Faith honey do mommy a favour" a honey smooth voice called in the distance.  
"Yeah mommy?" A little girl with red plaits replied timidly.  
"Gimmie a hug." The woman sobbed wiping away her tears.  
The little girl moved forward nervously wrapping her short arms around her mother.  
"I'm sorry mommy." The little girl said.  
"It's okay baby just promise me you won't make stories up again"  
"But mommy I didn't make it up! He was a bad bad man! He was a demon mommy he needs to go to hell." The little girl whined.  
The woman jumped back as if she had been physically struck.  
"Why do you have to lie!" She screamed at the trembling child.  
"Why Faith" She screamed striking the girls face.  
The girl moved back angry tear rolling down her face.  
"I didn't lie, it's the truth! It's the truth!" She screamed fleeing to the safety of her room.  
_

_"Faith…" He said softly into my ear.  
I recoiled slightly not used to such closeness.  
"Yeah?" I asked tearing my eyes from the TV screen.  
He ran his hand softly down my arm moving that little bit closer.  
I knew his intentions I wasn't THAT naive. He had been so good to me, taken me in when no one else would.  
"Let me touch you…" He whispered caressing my breasts.  
I had never been so nervous in my entire life. Yeah I had been rebellious while living with my parents, I had gone out with guys, got drunk, messed about… But I had never gone all the way.  
I sighed lightly unsure how to react.  
He took my sigh as one of please leaning in closer. He pressed his hot lips against my cheek, moving his hand lower to stroke my inner thigh.  
I bent my head backwards slightly allowing him easier access to my neck which he was now kissing lightly.  
"I want you." He soothed.  
I didn't know what I was getting myself into but at the time it felt like the decent thing to do, I felt like I was repaying my debt to him.  
He had been gently savouring every last second of my virginity, but that didn't last long…  
_

_"Stop!" I begged crying out in pain as he forced himself inside me.  
No lube… It hurt like a son of a bitch that's for sure.  
It was my first try at anal sex and Balthazar wasn't exactly going easy on me.  
"Please!" I sobbed as I felt my flesh tearing as he entered.  
He didn't answer, just ploughed on regardless of my protesting.  
At first he ignored me getting on with the task at hand then as time went on he began to tease me finding new ways to inflict pain on me.  
_

My eye's snapped open.  
The pain hit me like a thousand knifes stabbing me all over my body… But it had only been one knife that had caused this hurt.  
"You're awake, good." A nurse stated with a cheery smile on her face.  
I moaned. Just great. My favourite place. I hated hospitals but I hated nurses more… They were just so fake!  
"Don't worry about the pain it's perfectly normal let me go get the doctor, see if we can up your dosage just a tweak!" She chirped.  
Fuck. I wanted to slap her.  
"You have some visitors, they've been hanging around since you were brought in. Would you like to see them?" She asked surveying me carefully.  
"Yeah." I stated.  
I needed to thank John for helping me back there.  
"Okay." She said pursing her lips.  
"But not long, you really do need your rest." She finished leaving the room, her shoes clicking noisily on the hard floor.  
I sighed closing my eyes. It was a miracle I was still alive.  
"Faith"  
"Balthazar?" I said opening my eyes to see Balthazar enter the room closely followed by a very angry looking John.  
"Yes, I was worried when you didn't show up… Found out you had a little run in with Kelm"  
I rolled my eyes. The caring guy he was…  
"Whatever." I said dryly.  
"You okay?" John asked sympathetically.  
"Yeah just peachy John I have a hole in my stomach"  
"Don't sweat it. You were lucky it missed all your vital organs"  
"Fabulous." "You want me to leave"  
I didn't reply.  
"The doctor said you'll need someone to take care of you when you get out…" He said slowly.  
"You volunteering"  
"Unless you want Balthazar"  
"No I don't think I'm up for sex games after I've just been STABBED!" He nodded.  
"You can stay with me"  
"Thank you"  
Balthazar cleared his throat.  
"What?" I asked in frustration.  
"Nice of you to acknowledge my existence." Balthazar replied smoothly.  
"What?" I repeated.  
"Never mind." He said a grin on his face.  
"I'll be seeing you." He said before leaving my room.  
The nurse bustled in with a grey haired doctor.  
"Nice to see you're awake Faith." He smiled.  
"I understand you've been experiencing some pain? Don't worry I'll increase your dosage now." He and the nurse began talking as she fiddled around with a dial near by.  
"When can I leave?" I cut in.  
"Well, not for a couple of days. You'll need to be monitored so we can administer your pain relief"  
"No." I stated shaking my head.  
"Faith you don't understand"  
"I'm not staying here you can't make me! John can look after me so I can discharge myself"  
"Maybe you should stay…" John started.  
"NO! I'm NOT staying." I said again this time more firmly.  
"Are you absolutely sure… I can give you pain relief but not to the extent as I can here"  
"I can deal. I just wanna get outta here, okay"  
The doctor nodded giving in to defeat.  
"You can take care of her?" He asked John.  
He nodded.  
"Okay I'll get the forms." He left the room with the nurse leaving me and John alone.  
John walked towards my bed pulling something from his pocket.  
"This yours?" He asked handing me Rachel's necklace.  
I took it examining the pendant carefully.  
I shook my head.  
"It was Rachel's… She's dead isn't she"  
John nodded slowly.  
I sobbed.  
I knew she was dead... I knew it but this was my final confirmation.  
"It's all my fault!" I cried.  
"No c'mon kid she was a big girl"  
I shook my head. It was all my fault. Somehow I just didn't feel like helping God out any more.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

**AN:** Thankee for reviews you know I luv em!  
**Yukebabe** - I'm glad you like my tortured characters u know me I love to deal out angst and pain in BIG bundles. Don't worry bout not reviewing I know how it can be sometimes! Please please please update AA! Lol catch ya l8rs!  
Hope you all like this chap and dnt forget reviews mean MORE chaps!

The tension in the room was unbearable. You could practically cut it with a knife, solid state and all…  
I took a large gulp of whiskey, hissing in pain as my fresh wound was pulled taunt.  
"You okay?" John asked his dark eyes oozing concern.  
Fuck this was a pile of shit! Total and utter shit.  
I wasn't exactly in the mood to be 'looked after' after being stabbed. I wasn't exactly happy trying to influence John… Help him into heaven when I was so clearly damned by God.  
Fuck this piece of crap task and fuck John Constantine.  
I glared draining the glass, another hiss escaped my lips as my wound was yet again pulled uncomfortably.  
"You can have the bed." John told me as I rose to leave.  
"What about you"  
"Don't worry bout me kid"  
I rolled my eyes. I didn't exactly expect to be sleeping on the floor! I just wanted to get this over with. I wanted to go home and collapse on MY bed. I was pretty screwed my rent was still overdue and I had no way to pay it.  
I made my way into the bedroom ready for a decent night sleep.  
It was dark and so very silent, eerie after all this was LA.  
Thin strips of moonlight were cast around the ghostly room, filtered from the open blinds giving it an angelic glow.  
The room was pretty empty. A bed, some cupboards that's it.  
I began to drift off slowly slipping from consciousness. My body relaxed and my mind began to shut down.

BANG BANG BANG.  
Shuffling then a door opening.  
"Chas?" I heard John's voice say questionably.  
Weak sniffling, a sob.  
"John I can't go back there, please John please don't make me"  
More shuffling.  
"Come in"  
Footsteps. Chas entering the apartment.  
"Sit down kid"  
Another sniffle then silence.  
The clink of glass on glass, liquid being poured, the dull thud of a bottle being replaced on the wooden table.  
John's way of comforting people. I didn't blame him alcohol was good for that, believe me I know!  
"What happened"  
A small sob escaped quivering lips. Chas was upset that much I could tell from my silent solitude.  
"Chas?" John questioned this time more firmly.  
Silence.  
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" John screamed.  
I was fully awake now, my previously sleepy state at the VERY back of my mind.  
I couldn't see what was going on…  
_Chas raised his shirt gingerly holding back yet another sob (the pain was unbearable) revelling angry bruises covering the entirety of his stomach, abdomen… Basically everywhere. They were fresh not more that a couple hours old but bruised all the same… A beating like that, poor kid would be feeling it for months_.  
"Chas what happened"  
"He came home drunk I didn't have time... I couldn't stop him." Chas sobbed tears streaming down his face.  
"That mother fucking bastard, that's it. Final straw." John screamed.  
The scrape of a chair, John rising to his feet.  
"John please." The boy pleaded his entire body convulsing with silent sobs.  
Silence.  
"You're staying here kid"  
A silent nod, or so I imagined.  
"Faith's in my room"  
"She okay"  
"I think so… As well as can be expected. She's still in pain, probably a little shocked. She nearly died Chas it's gotta be hard"  
"Yeah"  
"You can take the couch, I know it's not much but it's all I got"  
"Thanks John"  
Silence.  
Another sniff.  
Those two really had something.  
Best of friends, maybe more.  
You wouldn't think of it when they were arguing like an old married couple but when it mattered, when it really mattered… That's when you could see it.  
I began to slip back into my gentle sleep the dull ache of my wound dissipating very slowly. If the pain killers weren't working the booze defiantly was!

I woke to a beautiful morning, sun shining, birds singing…  
My head was splitting, my body aching… My fresh wound aching, stinging.  
I pulled back the covers, red with blood…  
Red with blood? The cotton pad covering my wound was drenched.  
My stomach and pyjamas also shining with the copper tinged liquid.  
The pain was bad. My hand came away crimson. The stitches must have come loose…  
I pulled myself unsteadily to my feet swaying ever so slightly.  
My bare feet thudding softly on the warm carpet.  
I stepped into the living room holding my bleeding body.  
John was already up a cigarette carefully positioned in his hand, whiskey placed solitarily on the table.  
Chas was still asleep on the couch, chestnut curls falling carelessly over his face.  
He didn't see me come in, didn't realise my pain.  
"John…" I gasped.  
He turned a look of shock in his red tinged eyes, had he been crying?  
I lost my footing, stumbled falling clumsily to my knee's.  
A fresh wave of pain swept over me… I cried out.  
"Wha?" Chas sat up groggily his face turning pale as he saw me kneeling covered in blood.  
John quickly got to his feet making his way hastily towards me.  
"Faith, it's okay just breathe"  
I took a shaky breath as he helped me to my feet.  
"I need my pills." I said through gritted teeth.  
I had to hold the pain at bay, needed to concentrate, to work through this.  
John led me carefully into the kitchen placing me in the nearest chair.  
He looked at me, his eyes melting me with his concern.  
Grabbing my pills he filled an empty glass with water handing me them both with steady hands.  
I took them willingly practically shoving the tiny pills down my throat, gulping the liquid hungrily after.  
"Better?" John asked.  
I shock my head. No.  
He took my empty glass refilling it full to the brim with whiskey.  
I knocked it back bracing myself for the initial sting.  
"How bout now"  
"Fan-fucking-tastic." I heaved whipping my chin.  
"Let's get you cleaned up."

It was a little later.  
I was felling much better, my blood stained cloths replaced with fresh ones, my blood stained body washed away.  
Chas was in the bathroom trying to ease his pain a little. It was worrying seeing the bruises up close… I wanted him to see a doctor but he declined.  
John was smoking his cigarette absorbed in his own world of twisted problems.  
His cigarette dangled between his lips, smoke forming tight circles around his almost perfect body.  
"John"  
"Hmm"  
"Can I have one"  
John looked up taking another puff almost teasing me.  
"No"  
"Why"  
"You're too young to be killing yourself"  
I let out a harsh laugh, flinching a little at the pain this brought.  
"You want me to walk to the shops in my condition"  
"Fine you win." He said throwing me his pack of smokes.  
I caught them, pulled one out placing it between my lips.  
I signalled him to toss his lighter which he did.  
The cold metal felt foreign beneath my fingers. Tiny engravings covered its entirety… It truly was beautiful. I flipped the lid, lit it and brough the flame to my waiting cigarette.  
I drew in a deep breath, savouring the tang of nicotine in my experienced mouth.  
How long had it been since I'd had one of these? Three, four days? A week? I couldn't remember.  
I smiled savouring my passion, sighing in deep relief.  
"All better." I grinned.  
John shook his head smiling ever so slightly.  
God he looked good. His ebony hair, dark cinnamon eyes… Prince fucking charming.  
He noticed me looking.  
I stood up walking towards him, knelt in front of him ignoring the EXTREME agony this brought.  
I leaned forward placing my lips softly on his…  
For a moment I thought he would kiss me back but he didn't. Instead he pulled away, walked over to the window and stayed there his back to me.  
Way to go Faith. Make him think you're a nut job.  
"Whatever." I said rising to my feet choking back a sob.  
I made my way calmly into John's room, filling my bag.  
I'd had it with this shit.  
Being looked after.  
Being cared for.  
This wasn't my life.  
Fuck this God damn task.  
Fuck God.  
I was through with the lot.  
I walked from his apartment knowing he wouldn't follow.  
Knowing that he had given up on me and my messed up life and I was grateful.  
I was happy with my misery, happy with my pain.  
I didn't need anyone's pity.  
I didn't need John Constantine.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

**AN:** Two chapters in one day well ain't you guys lucky! Lol. Soz this one isn't all that long.  
And yeah Balthazar is a little OOC... So I apologise right now for that. As I said in the last chap I LOVE reviews so don't be shy! You may notice some of my much loved Innocence and Pathway to Hell in here... Maybe the odd thing here and there ya know! God I miss Luceria and Murphy _sob_ i'll be fine. The lyrics at the start are K's Choice - Virgin state of mind. See you guys later.

_"There's a chair in my head in which I used to sit,  
Took a pencil and I wrote the following on it,  
Now there's a key where my wonderful mouth used to be,  
Dig it up and throw it at me,  
Dig it up and throw it at me."_

Midnite's.  
Some song played in the background. I hadn't noticed, didn't really care.  
How long had I been here drinking away my misery?  
Glass after glass after glass.  
Vodka, whiskey, rum and the more 'exotic' drinks.  
Black viscose tar… Marleys Bright red… Scarlet.  
A deep green which stung like hell… The name really couldn't be said by humans but it translated into something roughly like 'venom'  
I downed my thousandth drink letting my head roll onto the bar.  
I was beat.  
I wanted to go home but standing really wasn't an option.  
Then there was the rent… Long overdue.  
Why the hell had I tried it on with Constantine? Why had I been such a god damn slut? Fuck the first thing you see that has a dick?  
Hell I was stupid.  
A sleazily looking demon slid into the seat beside me, running his fingers through my curly hair.  
"Lay off…" I slurred pulling back a little.  
"Oh baby don't be that way, you're a whore ain't you"  
I laughed a little longer than a should have drawing some weird glances.  
"Yeah coz I'm in a real fit state for a hard night of fucking"  
"What's up baby, demon stab you in the gut"  
I lunged loosing my balance and falling from the high bar stool.  
Agony. Pain washed over me like a thousand tidal waves crushing my body. My vision blurred. I felt the familiar warmth of blood seeping through my wound.  
Not again.  
Tears filled in my eyes. I couldn't move, couldn't even breathe.  
"Faith"  
I'd recognise that cocky voice anywhere, Balthazar.  
"Goo way." I mumbled into the floor.  
He pulled me roughly to my feet, I sobbed then slapped him hard across the cheek.  
Balthazar raised an eyebrow barely flinching.  
"I'm in god damn fucking agony!" I screamed angrily the blinding pain sobering me up.  
"Can't you be fucking gentle"  
Balthazar grinned pulling me towards him.  
"Close your eyes Faith. Let me take care of you… Just like old times"  
A small sob escaped my lips. I leaned against the half-breed giving into the darkness reeling me in.

_I was floating.  
Lighter than air.  
My body soaring high above the pain concealed in LA.  
The screams, sirens.  
I was floating.  
Lighter than air…_

I woke finding myself in the oh so familiar bed of Balthazar.  
I was lying on silky satin sheets, a feeling of warm satisfaction filling my body.  
I sat up slowly taking in my surrounding.  
Yes, this was Balthazar's place for sure.  
I was wearing a red nighty, how tacky, Balthazar always did like this sort of stuff but I had never let him clothe me before.  
I rose to my feet, previous pain gone and to my surprise no hang over.  
I made my way to the magnificent lounge.  
"Faith"  
"Balthazar…" I replied.  
"So you're finally awake, how's the head"  
"Fine…" I said warily.  
"Yes, I though so, do you want a drink?" Balthazar asked.  
I nodded.  
"That would help"  
Balthazar disappeared leaving me alone with my thoughts.  
I had tried it on with John…  
Fuck how embarrassing!  
I had to see Gabriel, tell her I wasn't gonna be her slave any more, I wasn't gonna do this pointless task.  
John was damned, fucked beyond mine of anyone else's help.  
"Here." Balthazar said snapping me from my thoughts.  
"Water?" I questioned.  
"You're dehydrated. Drink it"  
A concerned Balthazar that was a new one.  
I took the glass gulping down the refreshing liquid.  
Balthazar grinned inching closer towards me.  
I didn't recoil. Didn't even flinch.  
"You want me?" I asked steadily looking him square in the eyes.  
"I want you"  
I moved forward meeting him quickly.  
He pulled me into his arms kissing me passionately, snaking his tongue into my warm, moist mouth.  
He pulled me closer as I returned his kiss, moving my hands slowly to rest on his ass.  
He pulled his expensive shirt off, dropping it carelessly on the floor.  
His smooth skin felt so good…  
I was being led into the bedroom... felt myself falling onto the silken sheets.  
His hand was inching slowly up my nighty…  
"Balthazar stop!" I said breathlessly.  
"Why?" He asked between kisses.  
"I can't! I've just been stabbed for God sake"  
"Don't worry." He said hushing me with another kiss.  
"I'll be gentle"  
I snorted.  
"Yeah, you be gentle? That's something I would love to see"  
He ran his finger down my face, tracing my jaw lightly.  
"I promise"  
I didn't know what it was about the situation…  
What was different now?  
He just felt sincere and for the first time in my life I trusted him.  
"I trust you." I whispered allowing his hands to wonder freely.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**AN:** Thank you for the reviews and i'm really sorry this took so long to update! I've been doing a couple one shots and just started a Matrix fic so I apologise lots and lots!  
Just to say i'm going to Italy for 1 week on Monday 27th June so i'll try get a couple more chaps up before then but after that nothing till I get back!

Chas closed his eyes sinking further into the warm soapy bath.  
His body ached and his brain was exhausted.  
Eventually he rose, his naked body dripping water on the tilled floor.  
Hr grabbed a towel wrapping it carefully around his waist.  
It hurt like Hell, his abdomen still burning in pain.  
He wasn't ever going back to that hellhole…  
He had nothing, no clothes and no money… NOTHING.  
Chas walked wearily into the living room earning a shocked gasp from John.  
Not because the boy was standing in only a towel but because of the dark bruises which was got 10 times worse than what he remembered from last night.  
Chas looked away in embarrassment, John had never seen him half naked before. It was an uncomfortable situation.  
"Go put some cloths on kid." John said taking a puff from his cigarette.  
Chas blushed a deep shade of crimson.  
He did leaving John alone for a while.  
Chas had been in the bathroom for a while after Faith left.  
There was NOTHING in the house, so off John went in search of some food for the hungry teen.  
John made his way into the kitchen grabbing a plate and placing the food on it for both Chas and himself.  
He returned to the living room with two forks.  
Chas came in shortly after a huge smile breaking onto his solemn face.  
"Cheesecake? John you going soft in your old age"  
"Shut up and eat." John said a small smile also forming on his face.

It was morning.  
I opened my eyes just the slightest bit.  
Bright sunshine poured into the large room making everything seem so much more open.  
I was naked… I was very naked!  
Oh fucking hell!  
I was naked and so was he.  
Balthazar.  
Last night came back to me in a flash.  
It wasn't like any other time we had spent together, not in the slightest.  
He was so much gentler, caring.  
He was so incredibly careful not to hurt me it was… different.  
I pulled myself from the tangled mass of sheets and limbs, so very aware of Balthazar's sleeping form.  
He looked so different, not demon like at all.  
I could still feel his gentle caresses, could still taste his soft kisses.  
What was going on? This wasn't Balthazar! After all these years why the sudden urge to be 'loving' towards me?  
Who cares. I didn't know what I was doing any more.  
I needed a shower, needed to wash Balthazar from me.

I let the warm water wash over my aching body.  
Why had I stayed last night?  
Why had I ENCOURAGED him?  
I sighed in relief as the steamy water began to ease my tense muscles, I felt relieved.  
I closed my eyes moving my head under the warm stream, letting the water run down my back.  
Pure bliss.

Balthazar was awake now sitting lazily on the bed.  
"Thought you would have left already." Balthazar said in amusement.  
I shook my head.  
"I needed a shower"  
"Well, you do know where everything is don't you." He said smirking.  
Arrogant bastard.  
"I'm leaving now." I said taking a step towards my clothes.  
Balthazar stood up taking several steps forward.  
He was stark naked. He really was very attractive, perfectly formed and all that.  
"Back to Constantine?" He spat.  
I hesitated.  
"Don't try to deny it Faith. I could smell him all over you... Even over all that booze"  
"So? I was saying with him"  
"Yes, but that doesn't explain why I could TASTE him"  
I shivered.  
"You're disgusting"  
Balthazar just laughed.  
"I made a mistake, I never should have stayed"  
"Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it! I know you, Faith. I know you better than you know yourself. You loved every second of last night, didn't you? The moans of sheer ecstasy escaping that pretty little mouth of yours"  
I turned away.  
"You're an asshole Balthazar, I could never enjoy your filthy hands groping me"  
Balthazar sniggered taking several steps forward.  
I slowly began to back away.  
"Scared?" He questioned grabbing my arms and pinning them to my sides.  
I looked into those eyes... Empty save for one this, lust.  
"You don't own me." I answered.  
"Oh but I do"  
He spun me around pushing me onto the bed, I was trapped.  
A grin spread across his face as he pushed me further into the soft mattress.  
"Get off of me!" I said through gritted teeth.  
"Make me." Balthazar leaned down inserting that snake like tongue of his into my ear.  
It was one of the most disgusting things I had ever experience in my life.  
"GET OFF." I said this time stronger.  
He moved down again this time kissing the side of my neck.  
"You know I can't!" I pleaded knowing what was coming next.  
"Didn't stop you last night though did it? You were practically begging for it you whore"  
"That was different! You know it was"  
He tightened his grip on my arms pinning me painfully down.  
He was being aggressive and when he was like this there was no stopping him. I was well and truly screwed.  
"Please!" I begged.  
I deeply into those eyes that I had grown so familiar of, the eyes I probably knew better than my own. There was nothing, no love, no compassion just nothing.  
He smiled again.  
"I'm going to fuck you over and over and over till you scream! You want your money Faith? Then earn it"  
I struggled knowing this was going to hurt like hell. I was still tender from being stabbed, the wound was still fresh.  
Balthazar grabbed me savagely pulling the towel from my body, moving in for the kill.

I was blinded by pain but I wouldn't cry.  
I would never let him make me cry.  
Balthazar had done everything in his power to hurt me! He had succeeded.  
I was shaking, holding back the floods of tears I knew would come the second I walked out of the door.  
My body was bruised. Bite marks, scratches, bruises... I was covered in blood, aching all over.  
"Give me my money." I said through my shaking voice.  
"Straight to the point Faith, that's what a love about you"  
I wanted to slap him senseless tell him to shove his dirty money up his ass.  
"Try it Faith, try it and see what happens"  
Asshole. He could read my mind I forgot that little detail.  
"Just give me it"  
He held out a wad of green bills. I snatched them from his grasp, grabbed my bag and practically ran from the apartment.  
I wanted to go home, wanted to get drunk out of my mind then tell that bitch Gabriel exactly when to go.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**AN:** Okay this is really short but it kinda has to be short so anyway soz for the shortness! Mite not be able to update until after Italy but I WILL try!

I shook violently crouched down, back to the door.  
I was sobbing, out of control.  
Salty tears streaming down my desperate face.  
God it hurt. It hurt like hell.  
That bastard Balthazar had given it his all.  
I'm pretty sure I had a couple broken ribs.  
Fuck it.  
I'd lived through worse, most of which was caused by him.  
I needed something to numb the pain... Anything.  
I rose clumsily to my feet stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle nearest to me, tequila.  
I didn't even bother with a glass, instead I unscrewed the cap, placed the bottle to my lips and downed the fiery liquid. I stopped midway took a DEEP breath then gulped down the rest.  
"Urg." I shuddered, my eyes watering.  
THAT felt good.  
I was on a role. I grabbed another bottle... One of my all time favourite's... Whiskey and not just any old whiskey it was Jack Daniel's.

"Faith?" Gabriel questioned as I stumbled into the library.  
"Yo Gabe! How's it hanging? Oh wait I forgot you don't got no bits!" I laughed tripping over my foot.  
"You're drunk." A statement. "Oh! But you're a girl ain't ya? So you wouldn't be hanging at all would you, Gabe"  
"Child please contain yourself"  
"Fuck you"  
I had moved closer, staggering towards the half-breed.  
"What happened?" She questioned.  
My face was tear stained, my eyes puffy. My face was red and blotchy covered in scars.  
"Balthazar." I spat running a hand through my tangled hair.  
"He just wouldn't take no for an answer!" I giggled my eyes stinging with tears.  
Gabriel's expression instantly changed.  
"I warned you, Faith. You should have listened"  
"I'm fine! I don't give two fucks! Man he can have my body just as long as I get my money"  
"Faith you are on a path of self-destruction"  
"Yeah whatever bitch! I just though I'd pop in and tell you where to stuff your special little quest! I'm through playing God's messenger, I don't give a fuck about what happens to John! Let him go to hell, he deserves it"  
"That's it? You're willing to jeopardise the whole WORLD because of a kiss"  
"BULLSHIT! Stop with the reading of my mind! This has nothing to do with that! John doesn't want me so what! I've been rejected before, this has nothing to do with my pulling skills! I'm sick of it. I'm sick of good and I'm sick of you and heaven and hell and God knows what other crap you people dreamed up! I didn't ask to be handed this CURSE! I didn't ask for any of it! Do you think a five year old ENJOYS seeing the sort of thing I saw? Huh? You think I liked being kicked onto the street coz my parents thought I was crazy? I didn't ask for any of this bullshit! I give up, just piss off and leave me in peace"  
Gabriel didn't flinch. She simply raised her eyebrow.  
"You will turn your back on God, your saviour"  
I shook my head.  
"No, I already have"  
At that I turned and left suddenly feeling stone cold sober.

"Johnny boy"  
He was in Midnite's attempting to drown his sorrows.  
Let's just say the whole Chas/Faith situation was getting to him.  
God that poor girl was so messed up she didn't know who she was or what she wanted, she was just a kid, over reacted and left. Chas had been through hell and back again with his sorry excuse of a father, to see the kid in that state... Well lets just say even John Constantine couldn't stay quiet about that.  
"What do YOU want?" John asked downing his drink.  
"Manner's Johnny boy, manner's! I'm merely here to talk"  
John snorted into his glass. Yeah, Balthazar wanted to talk!  
"Yeah, and I'm God." John sneered.  
"Whatever you say John. All I came here to do was thank you"  
John raised an eyebrow.  
"Thank me? Why"  
"Why for doing the one thing I could not"  
"What's that then, get laid"  
It was Balthazar's time to laugh and laugh he did.  
"No, Johnny but I hear you got close, only you turned the poor girl down"  
John stood up abruptly, moving incredibly close to the half-breed.  
"Don't you dare bring that up you stupid piece of"  
"Johnny boy! MANNERS! Didn't your mommy teach you not to INVADE people's personal space? No, I don't suppose she would! Couldn't wait to get rid of"  
John grabbed him by the neck slamming him forcefully onto the bar.  
"I knew you'd like it on top!" The demon sneered licking his lips.  
"Listen to me! You stay the HELL away from Faith and me, you come near either of us again and I'll deport your sorry ass is that clear?" John hissed slamming Balthazar's head against the counter.  
"Oh but I HAD her John! I made her scream is agony! I made her cry out in ecstasy and then pain and it was sweet Johnny!" Balthazar grinned he was getting to the exorcist.  
"You fucking bastard!" "JOHN"  
It was Faith, God knows where she came from but there she was clear as day standing right behind him.  
John let go stepping back from the slightly dishevelled demon.  
"What the hell are you doing? Are you god damn crazy this place is full of demons you god damn asshole"  
"You slept with him?" John questioned looking deep into her sad, lonely eyes.  
She was beautiful there was no question about it but it was a different kind of beauty... He could now see the scars lining her face.  
"Did he rape you...?" John asked this time not so forcefully.  
"Ha! You don't know the meaning of the word John! I OWN her ass! She was begging for it"  
"You shut up!" John said raising his voice along with his hand.  
"Don't hit him John"  
"SHUT UP!" John screamed.  
She took several steps backwards.  
"Don't speak to me like that EVER! You ain't my father! You ain't nothing to me! I won't even let HIM speak to me like that!" She said pointing at Balthazar.  
"I'm sorry. Faith just tell me what happened. I promised you... I said I'd help." John said reluctantly.  
"I'm his whore John what d'you think happened?" She spat turning away.  
"What the fuck is your problem? You're a god damn kid, you ask for my help then screw the demon? What the fuck is wrong with you"  
"Whatever." She turned and left leaving John and Balthazar standing there.  
"Oh do you sense it Johnny boy? The hatred, the anger! You set it in motion Johnny! You have NO IDEA what you've done. She was the one, she was the one who could have saved you"  
"What the fuck are you talking about"  
"Go see Gabriel Johnny"  
Then he turned away and left.  
John stood jaw open, in total and utter confusion.  
Looked like he was going to visit Gabriel and soon.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**AN:** OK I'm really sorry it took me this long to update! I had this written since Italy but just couldn't be bothered writing it up! I've been doing so many one shot, Chastine and god knows what else plus I've decided to do a sequel to pathway to hell as well! God! OK well I KNOW for sure where I'm going with this and I already have the ending written so not long now! Yay! OK on with the story!

It was raining yet again.  
John Constantine was making his way towards the library he almost always visited everyday.  
Cigarette poised between his lips, scowl on his face. Everything had got just that little bit more confusing.  
Balthazar was up his own ass sharing information and now John wanted to know the truth. What did he mean about Faith being the one to save him? That kid was one fucked up mess, her head was all over the place she didn't know what she wanted anymore.  
The grey building came into view causing the man to take even longer drags of the fag.  
"She better tell me what the hell's going on..." John muttered to himself grounding the spent fag beneath his feet.

His foot steps echoed throughout the large hall making his presence known to the occupants.  
"John, how nice to see you"  
"Gabriel." He said walking closer to the figure.  
"What brings you here so late"  
"You know what half-breed"  
"John I'm not a mind reader"  
"Really? Could have fooled me"  
The half-breed smiled fanning her wings out behind herself.  
"No, that would be Michael"  
John nodded not really caring, he was tired and REALLY needed a drink.  
"What's going on Gabriel"  
"Going on with what?" She asked innocently.  
"Don't fuck with me!" John said angrily raising his voice.  
"John I really don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about"  
"I know Gabriel. I know Faith has to save me... So now that you've failed what are you going to do? Give up on me"  
"John you have no idea what you're talking about"  
"Yes, I goddamn do! I was TOLD Gabriel, I KNOW so just cut the crap and tell me what the fuck is going on"  
Gabriel's face hardened.  
"Stupid girl! Why couldn't she keep her big mouth shut"  
"Actually, it wasn't her it was Balthazar"  
"Balthazar?" Gabriel asked cocking her eyebrow.  
"Just how many people know of this SECRET mission"  
"You fucked up Gabe." John replied fumbling through his pant pockets.  
He found what he was looking for put it in his mouth then brought a flame up to light it.  
"Well, John looks like you're going to have to save yourself." Gabriel said coolly whilst turning to leave.  
"Yeah yeah. I've heard this before Gabriel I know the drill I've..." John started however he was interrupted by a chain of uncontrollable coughs which shook his entire body.  
He grabbed hopelessly at the wall, trying and failing to steady himself.  
"Sounds like your times running out John"  
The coughing finally subsided but by this time he was crouched on the floor, his hand slicked with crimson blood.  
He breathed in deeply trying to get as much oxygen into his lungs as possible.  
"What do you mean?" He asked but when he looked up the half-breed was already gone.  
"Ain't that just peachy." John mumbled pulling himself to his feet.

It was dark in the room. Light from the street lamps bellow hardly even penetrated the dusty windows.  
My whole body ached from the pain Balthazar had previously inflicted on my already sore body but I was home.  
I was home and I was gonna be okay.  
I was halfway through a bottle of vodka before the tears came.  
That bastard had raped me and I'd let him get away with it.  
How could I be so weak?  
Another swig.  
How can I just sit here while he laughs at me?  
Another swig.  
Why did I go near him in the first place?  
A bigger swig.  
Why am I still sitting here?  
Empty.  
That's it. That bastard is dead.  
I'll make him pay, stupid fucking half-breed!  
I rose unsteadily to my feet making my way into the tiny kitchen.  
I began rummaging through the few drawers looking for the one thing I knew would help.  
Ever since my parents had thrown me out all those years ago I knew exactly what I had to do... Survive and in order to survive Balthazar had to go. It doesn't matter anymore, I've found what I'm looking for.  
I tuck it carefully into my pants making my way hastily out the door.  
Balthazar WILL pay.

I can feel the cold metal with every step, reminding me of the task at hand.  
I won't be able to do it.  
Balthazar's a half-breed and a powerful one at that.  
I remember the first time I saw him kill someone, well influence them into killing themselves.

Flashback It was freezing.  
The sky was crystal clear but there was a biting cold. It wasn't windy just incredibly, mind numbingly cold.  
Balthazar had told me not to follow him but curiosity got the better of me.  
We were on the roof of some random hotel a young woman stood shaking on the edge, tears streaming down her reddened face.  
Balthazar was beside her, mouth slowly muttering millimetres from her ear.  
With every syllable his lips formed her sobs grew more and more intense, her whole body beginning to shake... What was he saying to her?  
I took a couple steps forward never taking my eyes from the two figures before me.  
It was over so quickly the woman let out an otherworldly sob then took her final step over the edge disappearing in an ear-splitting scream.  
She had jumped.  
She had jumped and I hadn't done a single thing to stop her, to prevent Balthazar from saying those terrible things he had uttered to the frenzied woman.  
End Flashback

Balthazar influenced to kill and I influenced to save?  
Who was I kidding there was no way I could prevent John-asshole-Constantine from going to hell.  
He was damned.  
He was damned from the second he was born into this trenched world.  
He was born with the sight just like me and THAT could never have helped him.  
Lucifer didn't just want John Constantine he NEEDED him.  
He had made it his mission to do everything in his power to receive John's soul and that's exactly what he would have done. What he WILL do.  
John is going to hell and there's nothing I or anyone else can do to save him.  
I didn't care I had reached my destination.  
I didn't even bother knocking, I knew it would be open.  
"I was expecting you." He said smugly from the sofa.  
My mouth wouldn't move... my lips wouldn't form the words I was dying to say.  
"Well, if you're going to kill me Faith darling go ahead and do it"  
My mouth literally dropped. He was UNBELIEVABLE I couldn't stand him.  
My hand reached down gripping the hard plastic handle as I revealed my weapon.  
"A knife? How very original." He smirked.  
I lunged heading straight for his chest, knife in front of my body.  
He grabbed my arm, twisted me around and before I could blink he had the knife to my throat.  
"Well well well looks like the tables have turned! You should know better Faith"  
"You bastard!" I spat twisting in an attempt to free myself.  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Pushing the knife deeper into my tender flesh.  
"Go on then. Kill me. DO IT! You know you want to! Put me out of my goddamn fucking misery you asshole"  
"You'd like that wouldn't you, you'd like the pain of death to wash over you before you go straight to hell"  
"SHUT UP"  
"Why don't you make me Faith"  
"How immature! What are you six?" I screamed struggling harder.  
"Oh you like it rough don't you, you little whore"  
"Fuck you"  
"Oh believe me you will"  
"Don't be so sure of yourself there Bee." I said stopping my struggle.  
Instead I grabbed onto his hands pushing the knife deeper into my neck.  
"Not yet." Balthazar said removing the pressure with ease.  
He's too strong there's no way I can overpower him... I might as well make this as painless as possible.  
"If you're going to fuck me, fuck me already." I said gritting my teeth.  
"With pleasure." He replied courteously releasing me from his strong grip.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:** okay so it took me a billion years to write this I'm really sorry!  
I've had it planed for so long but have just been too busy (or lazy) to bother!  
There's one more chapter to go and it's a long one! I have the majority written on paper now all I have to do is type it up... easier said than done!  
I dedicate this to my very good friend **cptn-jacks-bonnie-lass** for giving me the kick up the ass I needed to get this finished. I have the feeling you guys aren't gonna like this chapter... but I promise the next one will be back to it's normal self. Don't flame they make me sad :( 

Chapter 11

_2 months later._

John was in the kitchen with his usual cigarette and whiskey.  
The events of the past two months had got out of control, Faith was out of control.  
She had began working with Balthazar and generally making John's life a living hell.  
Whatever Balthazar was doing to her it sure as hell was working, she was doing crazy shit, threatening people, hurting them... Well and truly out of control.  
Of course he couldn't lay a finger on Faith, she was human... Balthazar wasn't breaking any rules so he couldn't be deported.  
All John could do was grin and bear it, easier said than done.  
Chas had healed fine after the little 'incident' with his father, he was crashing at John's. They were pretty close now... best friends, which confused the stony exorcist but it was a GOOD thing so he let it go.  
Everything was going fine completely fabulous but his cough only got worse, he was bringing up more and more blood until finally he couldn't take it anymore.  
Cancer, the doctor had said.  
Inoperable, untreatable, terminal.  
TERMINAL.  
That was the only word he needed to know.  
"How long?" He had asked completely unexpected for her reply.  
"A couple of months, John... I'm sorry"  
Sorry? She had no idea what this meant for him.  
He had a couple months left then he was going to hell.  
He was going straight to Lucifer...

"Bloody fantastic..." John muttered taking a long drag of his cigarette.  
Hey so he was dying of the things, might as well enjoy them while he had the chance right?  
"Hey John." Chas said cheerfully walking into the apartment with a bag of groceries.  
"They didn't have anymore whiskey so I bought water instead." He said grinning.  
"Yeah right..." John said gulping down the remainder from his glass.  
"You okay?" Chas asked putting down the bag to take a seat across from John.  
He was smiling... He was HAPPY.  
_Geez I can't do this to him._  
"It's nothing Chas. I'm fine"  
"You don't look fine." Chas said doubtfully, genuine concern in his eyes.  
"C'mon John you can tell me anything, you can_ trust_ me"  
"I know I can Chas, it's just easier for both of us if you don't know"  
"Hey! You can't decide that for me John! I can look after myself, I'm a big boy now. Just tell me what's going on okay"  
"You really wanna know?" John asked taking a long drag of his fag.  
"Yes"  
"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." John answered looking the boy in the eye. This was gonna tear his world apart.  
"I have cancer. It's terminal." He said slowly, exhaling a cloud of smoke.  
Silence.  
He had expected some sort of reaction, anything but Chas didn't seem to notice he had spoke... Maybe he hadn't.  
"Chas I have"  
"I know what you said." Chas whispered.  
But still his face remained neutral, no emotion revealed.  
"Well now you know." He said reaching for his cigarettes.  
He couldn't believe Chas was taking this so well.  
Before Chas knew what he was doing he had reached out and snatched the cigarettes before John could reach them.  
He stood up crushing the packet in his hand.  
"How could you be so STUPID? How can you still smoke these things? You have CANCER you asshole!" Chas screamed throwing the crushed packet across the room.  
His breathing had become deeper, faster, his whole body was shaking... Quickly he turned away.  
John had cancer. He was going to die and Chas would be left alone... John was all he had now.  
"Wow delayed reaction..." John said unsure how to react.  
One second the kid was calm and then 'this'  
"How can you be so cold John? You're gonna die." Chas said shakily, his voice breaking.  
"Are you... Crying?" John asked.  
He couldn't see the boys face but now he was looking Chas's shoulders were rising and falling ever so slightly as if he were sobbing.

Chas finally turned angry tears streaming down his pale face.  
Those big brown eyes were glistening with pent up tears waiting to fall.  
John felt his chest tighten, his throat began to burn and his eyes stung.  
_Oh no, no way John you are NOT gonna cry don't even think about losing it.  
_When was the last time he had cried? It was a long time ago... 20 odd years ago. It was before he had committed suicide at the age of 15.  
"John..." Chas sobbed unable to hold his emotions any longer.  
"I... I love you." He gasped shutting his eyes tightly causing more tears to slide down his blotchy face.  
John's jaw dropped slightly, his eyes widened. Did Chas just say.  
_No, John don't be stupid, you're imagining things there's no way he said that, no way in hell._  
"John?" Chas questioned opening his eyes when he didn't get a reply.  
John couldn't even look at the boy, he shook his head refusing to believe what he had just heard.  
He had imagined it. That was the only plausible explanation.  
Chas let out a shaky sob. John hated him... he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life but John's eyes told him otherwise, there was something that was telling him to make a move.  
Slowly Chas made his way towards the exorcist taking a deep breath.  
"I love you, John." He said sinking to his knee's in front of John.  
"No... Chas I'm old enough to be your father!" John responded.  
Chas wasn't buying it he moved in to kiss him however John moved his head and instead the teen placed a ghostly kiss on the exorcist's cheek.  
John didn't respond.  
Chas had just kissed him.  
Chas.  
The fumbling teen he had been living with for the past two months.  
After a second he turned back to face his young apprentice.  
Those big brown eyes were still wet with tears... Tears shed over him.  
There was something about him, something that made him lean forward... something drawing John towards those beautifully plump lips.  
Their lips met, melting John in the process... He tasted of pure innocence, of the liquorice Chas was constantly eating. He was the complete opposite of Johns, smoky, alcoholic flavour.  
Dipping his head he deepened the kiss using his tongue to ask for access, which was quickly granted.  
"I love you." John said pulling back his eyes wide, his lips swollen.  
It was the first time he had ever said those words to anyone.  
The first time he had ever felt the feeling he now felt.  
The first time he had allowed anyone in and somehow he felt like everything would be okay.

**AN:** I'm sure a lot of you are going "WTF! Where the hell did the Chastine come from"  
To tell you the truth I really don't know! When I started this fic I never intended it to turn out the way it has.  
I hinted on Chastine A LOT throughout this fic so I don't think it's all that unexpected but out of the blue all the same! In order to make the ending seem more believable it just had to happen, it makes more sense this way.  
For all you non-Chastine ppl out there PLEASE read the next chapter coz there is absolutely NO Chastine in it whatsoever.


End file.
